Could've Been Blue
September 11th, 2004
LIFE IS STUPID... ACCOMPANY IT!
This beautifully retarded collection of
silly songs is guaranteed to induce at least one of the following:
chills, chronic cringing, laughter, or sheer dumbfoundedness.
The album, despite sounding like a whisky-bent acid trip, was
surprisingly the result of a very sober recording process. However,
that's not to say that drugs and alcohol won't enhance the
listening process. The piano in "Treasons" was (not) played by Mr.
Cricket's reluctant friend, Paul O'Brien. He might have been
drunk... who knows?
BONUS FEATURES include: almost 30
whole minutes of music, outtakes,
hidden tracks, the ability to skip songs you don't like, and a clear
plastic CD case.
There is no piano in "Treasons".
Track Listing: |
Bomb The Zombies
Candlelight
Mix/Mix
Tacos
Snap
Treasons
Stupid
Kuntry
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Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
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Bonus Tracks: |
Cosmic Spin
Coo Miagi
Outtakes |
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics |
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Copyright © 2004 Mr. Cricket Enterprises. All Rights Reserved
* All songs written, performed, and recorded by Mr. Cricket
Bomb The Zombies
the voices on the wire say
they saw something scary
but i ain't gonna wait around to find
out what it was
stay inside and you'll be fine least
that is what they told me
but how can they be so sure if we
don't know what it does
arm yourselves
meet me at the park
around sunset
we'll attack when it's daaark!
oh shit!
oh no!
what's that?
i dunno!
could it be?
i can't see!
could it be?
it's right next to me!
i see...
i see that it's a ZOMBIEEEE!
RRRUUUNNN!
don't stay to fight
you won't survive the night
RRRUUNNNN!
run, you fools! ... and don't stop
until i say
over the river
through the woods
beyond old pete's farm
down by the sea
across the railroad tracks
there's an airport safe from harm
we'll steal a plane
and with some luck
we'll drive them toward the square
don't worry boys
i've gotta plan
as soon as we get there
we...
will...
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
zombies
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
hey
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
zombies
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
day
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
zombies
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
hey
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
zombies
BOMB THE ZOMBIES... zombies, zombies,
now...
Could've
Been Blue
Candlelight
night
candlelight
burns in circles on the airline
flight
china white
crawling sideways through the center of a day
soul without purpose
heart made of clay
tears of an angel are dying to cry away
night
candlelight
bathing windows seek the outside
bright
all in white
words careening through the shadows of a play
i am lightning
i don't shine as bright as me
you aren't lightning
you don't cut like a razor-sharp dream
you don't shine as bright as
me
as bright as me
as bright as me
as bright as me
shine
night
candlelight
casting shadows on the far side
plight
reunite
masquerading through the bowels of the fray
Could've Been Blue
Mix/Mix
mix, mix... part of the mix
mix, mix, mix... he's part of the mix
mix, mix,... part of the mix
mixter cricket's part of the mix
dusty? oh, i know dusty.
he's part of the mix
part of the mix
TEXAS
it's a college hat mix
fire up the truck to get yo jiffy pop fix
(six) sixteen and it's all about the drugs
cowboys shootin' niggas, shootin' wiggas, and the thugs yo
bugs, BUGS... all over my suit
always talkin' smack until yo finest point is moot
satan? oh, i know
satan.
he's part of the mix
Could've
Been Blue
Tacos (Tan De Largo
Mundo Cruel)
sounds like someone's gotta
hankering for some salsa, burritos, and tacooooos!!
mis miercoles pantalones no es bueno
porque mis miercoles pantalones se
arden
mis miercoles pantalones muy feo
porque mis miercoles pantalones son
mierda
buonas noches mis pantalones
hola libertad
buonas noches mi seguridad
hola tuercas contraídas
mi señora tiene un extremo grande
ella pasa todo mi dinero
mi señora tiene estómago muy grande
porque ella come muchos burritos
mi señora no me ama
ella me dejó para un burrito
mi señora no me ama
debido a mi Tejas sombrero
... debido a mi Tejas sombrero
TRANSLATION
my wednesday pants are no
good
because my wednesday pants are on fire
my wednesday pants are very ugly
because my wednesday pants are shit
goodnight my pants
hello freedom
goodnight my security
hello shrunken nuts
my lady has a big butt
she spends all of my money
my lady has a very big stomach
because she eats many burritos
my lady doesn't love me
she left me for a burrito
my lady doesn't love me
because of my Texas hat
... because of my Texas hat
Could've Been Blue
Snap
when knowledge is my
cigarette, insurance is the word.
taco, taco sympathy for a dagger front-lick bird.
when whisky are my training wheels, purge insight from the womb.
darkness, darkness suicide for a paper cock tease gloom.
never mind the polyester, love is what you sell
charge me for the tri-semester take you down to hell
concentration, masturbation, silly fucked up world
i'd
settle for a hotdog and a bun shaped like a girl
singing i raped god on my answering machine
saying i raped god on my answering machine
did you rape god on my answering machine?
Yes, i raped god on your answering machine!
WE ALL RAPED GOD ON MY ANSWERING MACHINE!!!
Could've
Been Blue
Treasons
a lifetime of treason ...
oooh
died for no reason... oooh
i'm paranoid like sigmund
freud... oooh
maybe it's cancer... oooh
roses are blue... oooh
i'm paranoid like sigmund
freud... oooh
my life is over... oooh
i'm paranoid like sigmund
freud... oooh
we live and die like christmas time... oooh
Could've Been Blue
Stupid
welcome to the party
please allow me to abridge
the coke goes on the counter
and the beer goes in the fridge
there's a pool if ya feel like swimming
a guitar to serenade
and once you pound a beer or two
there's a bedroom to get laid
don't think about the
consequences when you're here my friend
it's friday, it's a party, and this party never ends
timmy was on acid
johnny was on speed
twibith, paul, and hushpuppy were smoking all the weed
listening to records
on the patio at dawn
we did not know the neighbors called the cops till we saw them
cross the lawn
it was clear we had been drinking
the keg no longer sinking
though we begged and begged and begged and begged
it was just wishful thinking
my head's going sober
i guess the party's over
but have no fear
don't shed a tear
don't disappear
mr. cricket's here
there's plenty beer
the cops are queer
if we persevere
like a volunteer
celestial sphere
let out a cheer
we just might win
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa
Could've
Been Blue
Kuntry
woke up
in the outhouse with a shotgun in my hand
broken whisky bottle cuts my feet as i try to stand
left a trail of bloody footprints on ethyl's clean white rug
she left me for a banjo player/wino gangsta thug
well...
i went to
fetch some milk down at dad's old creamery
found them in the mud humpin' like pigs on ecstasy
so i set the barn on fire, hell, i even tipped a cow
then grabbed my trusty pitchfork and chased 'em with the plow
as the rooster sang cock, cock, cock, cock-a-doodle doo
another day in the kunt, kunt, kunt, kuntry
slam another whisky at the side of the road, i know my friggin head's
'bout to explode
oh oh... here's to life in the kuntry
from then
on it's kind of blurry cause i was mighty drunk, ya see
but rest assured i killed them both for what they done to me
not a soul around for miles, the authorities ain't gotta clue
yet this song is damning evidence... looks like i'll have to kill you too
i'll have to kill you too!
as the
rooster sings cock, cock, cock, cock-a-doodle doo
another day in the kunt, kunt, kunt, kuntry
love lies bleeding at the side of the road, revenge a dish best served a
la mode
i know... such is life in the kuntry
Could've
Been Blue
BONUS TRACKS...
Cosmic Spin
OH NO
everything you know... it isn't real
everything you think... everything you feel
there are no dreams... no in-betweens
you are just a lamb in society
there is no sobriety
you are just a face without a place
... in society
Coo Miagi
coo miagi
coo coo miagi
coo miagi
coo coo miagi
coooooo miagi
coooooo miagi
(mostly gibberish)
this time i'm going to do it!
i am a tornado twist
TORNADO TWIST!
Could've
Been Blue
Texas Hat
October 17th, 2003
UH OH... MR. CRICKET DISCOVERED A DRUM
MACHINE!
Recorded in about a week with the help of
a few close friends, TEXAS HAT is by far the zaniest Mr. Cricket album to
date. Every track was drunkenly improvised with the exception of "Caress",
which was supposed to be a love song, but didn't fit the overall idea of
TEXAS HAT... so Mr. Cricket made it perverted and stupid. Paul O'Brien and Stephen Sharp can be heard screaming in the
background of some songs, and Mr. Cricket's dog, Abbey, can be
heard barking as well. Mr. Cricket only produced about 10 copies of
this CD, but for the sake of all living things... that's probably best.
Testify!
MUSIC PAGE
Copyright © 2003 Mr. Cricket Enterprises. All Rights Reserved
* All songs written, performed, and recorded by Mr. Cricket
Nice
(these aren't words... Mr. Cricket's an idiot!)
ewww
ew ewww
ewww
ew ew ewww
rlee
rlee rlee
rlah rlee rlaa rloh
aahhh
aah aahhh
Texas Hat
Proud
(sarcastic and spoken like a hick)
I like our president because he praise the
lord.
I'm proud to be an American because of my Texas Hat.
Texas Hat
Poot
(nonsense - porno music style)
YEEEEHAWWW!
Rlee rlee rlee rlee rlee rlee rlee rlee
rlee rlee
Show us your pussy
Put your pussy in my face
Give me something more than your treasons
give me all four of your seasons
I have no rhyme, reasons
You are not the (fate pull on the layers?)
reasons, treasons, seasons, reasons,
treasons
(andol sol awol uh wana woostoos?)
(angol wangol polly wally oostoos?)
Demons! The Demons!!
... Testify!
Texas Hat
Sands
(inspired by that awful... I mean brilliant
Nickelback song)
All the sands aligned with mace
From cold days in this place
Mom and Dad are making meals
From cold days in this place
repeat, but with screaming
Texas Hat
Caress
(a love song gone bad)
Connect the dots of my heart
The curving of lines shape the art
Careful where I cum cause it stains
Erase it yet still it remains
Now my world is so bright
Spread your legs into the night
Your eyes, they bring angels to their knees
It's time to fuck oh baby, baby please
Caress the wings of precious things
Fly away
My thoughts conspire... this one desire
Fly away
Feel our love begin to spark
As I thrust and pound you in the dark
If what you're moaning is true
I found the heart of everything in you
Texas Hat
Black
(why?)
Black kids
Black kids
Black kids
Black kids
You don't have the right
to take away my life
especially with the knife
you stolen from my wife
friends were calling, but I was falling on
me
... on me
Texas Hat
Church
(sarcastic and spoken like a hick)
George Bush is my president, therefore I
praise the lord.
I go to church.
SUV.
Where are my boots?
Are you listening to me?
Put on your Texas Hat!
Don't let any americans think otherwise.
Praise the lord!
Church.
Texas Hat
Palangelay
(fun with bongos)
Listen to me
I want to be free
It's something you'll never see
I cheated on you
with my favorite shoe
at least I had something to do
Texas Hat
Yawp
(basically anything that came to mind, sung
acapella)
Somebody told me
I was worse than shit
Somebody told me
I don't give a shit
Somebody told me
Life was fucking gay
Somebody told me
I won't go away
ayyyyy
I wait
For my way
oooohhh
so
now
you're
nothing to me
I
think
I wanna pee
on
our
lifetime together
could've been forever
could've been blue
now I hate
hate
hate
hate hate hate hate hate hate you
so now I hate you
now I know that you're not supposed to be
my friend
the end
Texas Hat
See (CD
Single)
March 28th, 2003
THE PAST IS RUINED!
Thrown together at the last minute before
a gig on March 28th, 2003. "See" was originally written as a serious song
for the band Shylocke. The words were left unchanged because they were
ridiculous to begin with. DJ Duck ("We Are The Ducks") makes the song
even worse... if that's possible. The single also included a remixed
version of "Peace, Love, and Bitch". The only difference between
this version and the one found on The Moment is a Masterpiece is
that it's significantly louder, and has more silly FX.
See
you know that I have seen it in your eyes
it's something that I know you can't disguise
tell ya that I wish I knew what's wrong
then ya say that you can't carry on this way
tried to tell you it's not easy
but you still gave up the fight
lit a candle in your darkness
but you couldn't see the light
not sure now what I am s'posed to do
I put all the faith I had in you
if only you'd give life another try
you'd see there were no reasons for goodbye
... goodbye
couldn't see the light
couldn't see the light
couldn't see the light... yeah
Copyright © Oh who the fuck cares... if
you steal this, the joke's on you, suckuh!
Music Page
The Moment Is A Masterpiece
September 27th, 2002
MR. CRICKET IS ONE MESSED UP CRACKA!
Recorded in a state of certain sadness,
The Moment is a Masterpiece is probably the most hilariously
depressing Mr. Cricket album. In the span of two weeks (the amount of
time it took to record this), Mr. Cricket lost his girlfriend, his dog,
his sanity, about 30 DVDs, and eventually lost his apartment due to noise
violations from playing records too loud. The most popular song,
however, was not inspired by any of these events. Fans preferred the
story of "Dalpubbins", a fictitious character from the old west, instead.
Track Listing: |
Intro
You Stole My DVDs
I Got Da Blues
Peace, Love, and Bitch
I Need To Take a Shit (acoustic)
Listen Children
Life's Too Short to Sleep
Dalpubbins
The Day You Died
My Friend, The End
You Don't Have The Right
When a Cricket Says Goodnight |
Lyrics
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Lyrics
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Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics
Lyrics |
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MUSIC PAGE
Copyright © 2002
PeaceLoveBitch.com. All Rights Reserved
* All songs written, performed, and recorded by Mr. Cricket
You Stole My DVDs
(based on a true story)
You were there
broken like a heart filled with despair
no one answered your prayer
and I was there
trying hard to overlook the sleaze
of a person... diseased
Till you stole my DVDs
Now you're doomed
to live your life inside this shallow tomb
of unknown feelings and gloom
and things aren't free
and neither is electroshock therapy
you learned the hard way from me
When you stole my DVDs
when you stole my DVDs
you took all i had from me
now look at where I'll be
Now I'm mad
cause you took a thit on all we had
and made me question my friends...
I will never make amends
The Moment is a Masterpiece
I Got Da Blues
(woe is Mr. Cricket)
I got holes in my shoes
and i got the suicide blues
and i got an asshole on my face
I got da blues
I got da blues
I got the icky-sticky, wishy-washy, two-timin' blues
i got the wal-mart broken heart constipation
got the east coast burnt toast itchy sensation
and my boss just won't give me a raise
I got stains on my shirt
i stubbed my toe and it hurts
and i got that asshole on my face
I got da blues
I got da blues
I got da pretty shitty lack of witty hair thinnin' blues
i got the giant-sized criticized album review
i got the broken line nasty wine hangover flu
and my boss still won't give me a raise
I GOT DA BLUES!
The Moment is a Masterpiece
Peace, Love, and Bitch
(inspired by that song Give Peace a
Chance)
Everybody's talkin' bout the
government (the government?)
the mal-adjusted, can't be trusted government (oh, the government!)
rock the vote to ratify the government (the government)
and you could change your life today
won't you take my hand
walk with me again
look into my eyes to see the skies
are still blue
everybody's talkin' bout the
violence (the violence!)
tryin' hard to censorship the violence (the violence?)
as if TV, videogames, music, and the arts
are the only things to blame for the violence (the violence)
the stink coming from the
kitchen sink
doesn't have to be so bad
just think of all the times we had
when the stink wasn't it the sink
Everybody knows everybody
sees
everybody here has some kind of stupid disease
if you don't show then you don't grow
then ya don't know then ya don't get to go to the show
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
break it down now...
The Moment is a Masterpiece
Listen Children
(harmony rocks!)
listen Children while you're sleeping...
life will pass you by
all this dreaming... silent screaming... life will pass you by
and i see... what they've taught you to be
you will know... time has forced you to grow
up my children while you're sleeping...
life will pass you by
altered vision... no permission... life will pass you by
and i see... what they've taught you to be
you will know... life has forced you to grow
up
grow up
grow up
grow up
forever is not enough
forever is not enough
so my children while you're drifting...
life has gone astray
souls were shifting... eyelids lifting... watch them fade away
The Moment is a Masterpiece
Life's Too Short To
Sleep (80's song with some
old school rappin' wedged in the middle)
come on, twibith
life's too short to sleep
said come on, twibith
life's too short to sleep
time keeps flying... people keep dying
life's too short to sleep
the water keeps flowing... children keep growing
life's too short to sleep
my name is Mr. Cricket and i'm here to say
if you waste your life then you are gay
you'd rather take a thit and make a stupid face
but i got da beats that'll put you in your place
say hey, HEY! hey, hey, hey
mr. cricket's back to put you in your place
say hey, HEY!, hey, HEY! hey, hey, hey
can't afford to fuck away another day
say hey, hey, hey, Hey, HEY!
i know what i'm doin' so go away... GO AWAY!
tell it like it is, Mr. Cricket...
ohh... it's sunday morning got my hand in
my pants
praying hard for a girl who'd never wanna dance
with a guy like me... coz i'm so lazy
when suddenly some kid starts rappin' to me
sayin'
who are we? .... we god soldiers!
and what we do? .... we send a message... a message!
said who are we? ... we god soldiers!
and what we do ... we send a message... a message!
fuck that shit!
wastin' time on prayer
gotta deal with the fact that god's not there
there's more to life than all you know
so open up your mind and go with the flow!
come on, Twibith...
life's too short to sleep
come on, Paul...
life's to short to sleep
said come on, Mr. Cricket...
life's to short to sleep
come on, Lucy...
life's too short to sleep
what good's a dream that never comes true?
life's too short to sleep
what good's time if it's waiting on you?
LIFE'S TO SHORT TO SLEEP!
The Moment is a Masterpiece
Dalpubbins
(campfire story telling)
there was a man... dalpubbins
who rode a mighty steed
a guitar, a blanket, and a pistol
was all dalpubbins would need
Dalpubbins, Dalpubbins, Dalpubbins
his heart was plagued by a demon
Dalmatus was his name
he was sent to destroy Dalpubbins
with nightmares from beyond the grave
Dalpubbins, Dalpubbins, Dalpubbins
one night upon his blanket
dalpubbins had struck a chord
it was time to confront dalmatus
and end his life with a sword
Dalpubbins, Dalpubbins, Dalpubbins
high noon... a fateful duel
one shot dalmatus was done
the story unfolds before you
of how the west was won
The Moment is a Masterpiece
The Day You Died
(ELO anyone?)
on the day you died
everybody cried
they cried for you
and all you do... ooh
(instrumental break)
on the day you died
i never said goodbye
goodbye to you
and all you do... ohh
The Moment is a Masterpiece
My Friend, The End
(Dedicated to David Jones)
thought you were my friend
'till you said the end
death is only knowing you're gonna die
throw my hands to the sky
on my knees I start to cry
you may be gone, but we're here
carrying on... year to year
clinging to the memory of a loving child in you
we'll remember you
the way you would want us to
the way you could make us smile
let us have those thoughts for a while
and if we could have our way
would you see another day
could you see what we go through
knowing how much we love you
thought you were my friend
'till you said the end
death is only learning how to say goodbye
what good is life without you
remembering all the things we'd do
from throwing cheese... to starting fights
smoking weed and Marlboro Lights
we were strong... now deep inside my heart's where you belong
so the years they fly
and though I never said goodbye
it comforts me to know that I will see you again
life is short... The years rush past
not much time, so make it last
proud to be right here
carrying on year to year
clinging to the memories of that loving child in you
The Moment is a Masterpiece
You Don't Have The
Right (rhythmic acoustic
bullshit)
you don't have the right
to take away my life
especially with the knife
you've stolen from my wife
friends were falling, but I was calling on
me
on me
oh no, no, no you won't catch me
singing 3 part harmony
there are no words to this CD
I'm just a fading melody
friends were flying but I was dying on me
on me
say... say it isn't so
it took so long to grow
now you have to go
and throw it all awayyyy
you were crying but i was dying on me...
on me
The Moment is a Masterpiece
When A Cricket Says
Goodnight (broken hearted
foolishness)
so this is my life
thought i'd get it right
would you be there if i could close my eyes tonight
i remember when
you'd stay until the end
when all the songs were through
there still was you and me
change
change has come
change will be
you will know
the dreams you've mistaken
you've forsaken for something new
this can't be true
what did i do
to make you sad
and lose all i had
but life was changing life
was changing life when you were 17
i fell in love with you
a sky so blue
and you were everything
life was all i had
was never bad
until the day you said that
you and I were through
for someone new
won't you take my hand
walk with me again
look into my eyes and see the skies
are still blue
what have i to show
when all i had... had to go
i'll never know
what you went through
i never had a chance
i never knew
life was changing life
was changing life when you were 17
love was so brand new
a sky so blue
and you were everything
listen to me cry
and wonder why
we ever said goodbye
take me back again
remember when
so this is my life
thought i'd get it right
but you turned out the light
and said goodnight...
goodnight
The Moment is a Masterpiece
Beware Dalmatus
THE DAWNING OF DISASTER
The first Mr. Cricket album (on CD
anyway)! Recorded in about 3 weeks with an old casio and a beat-up
acoustic guitar... I never thought I'd play it for more than 3 people,
much less promote it on a website. It's rough, it's ridiculous, but I
wouldn't have it any other way.
Track Listing: |
Bwernt
Boring Day
The Mr. Cricket Rap
I Need To Take a Shit
Where Are You, Twibith?
Kings of the Masquerade
No Balls (I Am Fat)
Plano
Believe
Change
Your Boys
There Were Times
Meat
Reasons
This Fist
Skipping
Roses Never Die
We Are The Ducks
Lightning
The Shelf Mishap |
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MUSIC PAGE
Copyright © 2001
PeaceLoveBitch.com. All Rights Reserved.
* All songs written, performed, and recorded by Mr. Cricket.
Boring Day
(religious satire - barbershop
style)
oh my god!
oh my god!
oh my god!
oh how I love you, god.
oh how I love you, god.
oh how I love you, god.
this is a boring day
boring day
a boring day
this is a boring day
boring day
a boring day
just like the day you're wasting away
the hair on your balls is turning to grey
you threaten a mouse while you stink up the house
cause this is just another boring day
singin'
this is a boring day
boring day
a boring day
everybody
this is a boring day
Beware Dalmatus
The Mr.
Cricket Rap
(terribly improvised flow techniques)
my rhyme... can ya dig it?
we're all east coast jammin' here
can ya feel it?
here we go
my name is Mr. Cricket and I'm here to say
if you don't like me then you are gay
you watch me from the stands and you make a stupid face
but I'll know that I better put you in your place
say hey
HEY
hey hey hey
Mr. Cricket's gonna put you in your place!
sayin hey
HEY
hey
HEY
hey hey hey
i know what i'm doin' so go away!
go awayyyyyyy
we're doin' our time because we did a
crime
so we're bustin' out alive cause everything is fine
know your role and shut your mouth
cause everyone sounds like a... god damnit (happiness)
i'm better than you so shut up! (put my fist in your face)
everything's right (it's christmas time)
everything's fine
you know what to do if i'm in your shoe
just kick me out, push me away
i'll come back some other day
and i know my rap is better than the rest
because I'm from the east side
and we know best
let me hear ya say best
better than the rest
say best
better than the rest
say best
better than the rest
(jibberish) is better than the rest so
shut your mouth and put me in your place
because you gotta listen when i'm having a (race?)
you don't know anything cause i'm so cool
i'll be you up cause i know the rules
bauwwl!
bauwwl!
shut up!
shut your face!
i say neln, you say bauwwl
say neln...
neln...
neln...
YOU'RE NOT DOING IT!
LISTEN TO ME... I HAVE THE MICROPHONE!
hey
HEY
that's ok
hey
HEY
i say neln you say... huthit?
Beware Dalmatus
I Need
to Take a Shit
(Mr. Cricket's first melody, but why)
I need to take a shit, but nobody listens
if you close my eyes... I'll shit in your pies
I need to take a shit
I need to take a shit, but nobody gives a
shit
if you close my eyes... I'll shit in your disguise
I need to take a shit
but nobody listens to me
cause i am dying here for (some toilet paper) a cool, fresh breeze
I need to take a shit, but nobody listens
if you close my eyes... I'll shit, Shit, SHIT
I need to take a shit
but nobody listens to me
Beware Dalmatus
Where Are You,
Twibith?
(one chord analog mix - hissss)
where are you, Twibith?
I cannot say
I hope I'll see you later on today
last I saw Twibith
he was at school
he isn't stupid... he knows the rules
where is Dalmatus?
he was here before (he was here before!)
i think I love him... he knows my door
The End
The End
The End
THE END!
Travis is my brother... my brother!
Hushpuppy is my dog... my dog!
you aren't my friend, my friend
but you won't go far
haiiyyaaaaa ahhh aahh ahhhhhahhh
ewwwhoohoohoohoooo
where is Dalmatus?
where is Dalmatus?
where is Dalmatus?
hoy
Beware Dalmatus
No Balls (I am Fat)
(a party favorite)
I am fat... imagine that
and i don't know why
guess I had too much pie!
you are gay... and ya don't know why
just happened one day
hit ya right between the eyes!
and ya have no balls
said ya have no balls
I SAID YOU HAAAVE NOOO BAALLS... NOOO BAAALLS!
t'was the smell of beer that brought the
people here
and brought us all good cheer
but it's time for you to go... you're movin' much too slow
cause you are fat... imagine that
and ya smell like poo, and ya sleep in a shoe
cause you are gay
because you HAAAVE NOOO BAALLS... NOOO
BAAALLS!
Beware Dalmatus
Plano
(ah, the travesty that is)
this is a song about Plano
I suggest you never go there
it is filled with yuppies
lots of teenagers like to die there
Mrs. Jameson
cheerleading cowgirls
lots of alcohol
the ducks in the pond must dieeieeie... DIE!
this is a song about Plano
I suggest you bring more underwear
to replace your last breath
the gates of hell open and you are welcome
Sebastian ska in a tree
little boy's gotta pee
with open eyes you'll never see
the world you knew just...
Mrs. Dilworth
Chinese retards
plastic suntans
all the world must die
mother fucker, mother fucker
I am a song about Plano
I am a song about you and me
love isn't really good here
it's just a drug overdose and a can of beer
fuck you, fuck me, fuck this, fuck that
fuck all that and die and come with MEEEE!
i like the rodeo
i drive a truck
i can afford nice clothes cause of my mommy's credit card
you're daddy bought you a car... fucker
why do we have to live here?
Beware Dalmatus
Believe
(I hate this song)
change... change has come
change will be... you will know
I've seen the glory from the mountains across the sea
come with me... take my hand
and we will walk through the fiery hell of damn
change... is all alone
but inside our hearts it will learn to condone
a fucking tree has been planted
and the seeds have been granted
and the fiery passion that burns will burn
inside of me
inside of you
I've never seen so much love
in my life
in my tree
come with me
we could be so fascinated with each other
we could take each others pants off and believe
come with me
come with me
take this chance... BELIEVE!
everybody goes there to watch jesus
our glorious savior bring us life
we all love you, jesus!
now you're not so fair
Beware Dalmatus
Change
(canon gone wrong)
this one's for the one who knows that life
matters
this one's for the sparrow
this one's gonna die
staring out my window I look across the
sea
watching the time (savatage) believe
now it's time for me
to see
to change
to smile
change will come
change will be
you will know the change in me
we all know our way
we all know our way
everybody look out the window
change will come
everybody likes a change
everybody wants us
everybody likes a change
love
Beware Dalmatus
Your Boys
(making fun of realtors)
Mike, I think I surprised your boys
they should've woken up, made me breakfast
touched my tits, told me I was pretty
looked me in the eye and fingered my pussy on the day that I showed the
house
Your boys
Your boys
we need to talk about the level of
indecency
anti-hospitality, lack of curiosity and audacity
and perpetuation of your boys on the day that I showed the house
Your boys
Your boys
Beware Dalmatus
There Were
Times
(he can't be serious... can he?)
there were times when I felt legible
there were times I felt so blue
but those times when I felt legible
weren't the times I spent with you
left all alone... I was only dying here
left all alone... I was only crying here
there were times when I felt legible
there were times I felt so blue
but those times when I felt legible
weren't the times I spent with you
left all alone... I was only dying here
left all alone... I was only crying here
for some answers to me
... to me
Beware Dalmatus
Meat
(heavy metal parody)
MEAT!
MEAT!
MEAT... CHEESE... MEAT... FART!
life's a bitch and then you die
life's a bitch and then you die
Olstabey
Olst Olstabey, Olstabey
Olstabey
Olst Olstabey, Olstabey
Olstadahpaltoltamapatoh
Oy Oy Oy Oy!
life's a bitch and then you die
you're a bitch and then you die
my solo
your spaghetti can die in bitch!
Beware Dalmatus
Reasons
(no explanation)
you gave me reasons now I am a pony
this is my reason 'bout Christmas and glory
you were my friend
now this is the end
you've gone astray
watch me die
... reasons? ... reasons? I am so lonely!
I gave you Christmas and you gave me homework
you were my friend
now this is the end
you've gone astray
watch me die
Beware Dalmatus
This Fist
(took absolutely little to no thought)
you see this fist?
what fist?
my fist!
I'll use this fist to fuck you up
I'll beat you down... you'll know what's up
don't make me use it!
you forced me to use it!
aiyyyyyyyyyy
Beware Dalmatus
Roses Never
Die (romantic failure)
what if roses never died?
would you have to hide from me?
what if all you say is true?
would you be so blue... in me?
oh, and if i go away
you will always hear me say
you love me
what if roses never bloom?
would you all be doomed... in me?
what if roses never die?
would the tears subside... in me?
oh, and if i go away
you will always hear me say
you love me
roses never die
roses never die
roses never die
clean up this town
clean up this town in me
roses... die
roses... my bitch
oh, and if i go away
you will always hear me say
you love me
I love you because you said
"I'm a rose"
Beware Dalmatus
We Are the
Ducks
(ducks... rapping)
we are the ducks!
we fight for survival and satan's revival
we are the ducks!
we poop in the pond and sing you a song, yes
we are the ducks!
we like to tell you how we feel
we like to tell you how we feel
we are the ducks!
the water is nice but you pay the price
we are the ducks!
Dalmatus is here so let out a cheer, YAY!
repeat after me
wenk... wenk wenk wenk... wenk wenk
wenk... wenk wenk wenk... wenk wenk
wenk wenk wenk wenk
wenk wenk wenk wenk
we are the ducks!
we are the ducks!
you're not the ducks!
Beware Dalmatus
Lightning
(an anti-classic... so to speak)
I am Lightning
I don't shine as bright as me
you aren't lightning
you don't cut like a razor sharp dream
you aren't like me
you don't know within my dreams
you aren't lightning
you don't shine as bright as me
everybody
everybody
everybody
everybody
shine bright
shine bright
shine on days and nights
and let the Dalmatus die (bright)
Beware Dalmatus
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