MR. CRICKET'S WORDS OF WISDOM
Worldly advice from the man who sings, "I Need to Take a Shit".
 

01/18/05

Don't tell "You Had To Be There" stories.
Cheating makes some video games possible.
If a leprechaun asks, I don't have his gold.
Be wary of shameless self-promoters.
Order a Mr. Cricket CD.

08/19/04

Laugh out loud for no reason.
Pretend to orgasm when you sneeze!
Say, "NO!" Then do it any way.
Find other ways to confuse people.
Call up radio stations and request Mr. Cricket songs.
Say, "Puthy!"

07/01/04

Honk at pedestrians.
The speed limit is just a suggestion.
Be wary of brown M&M's!
Run when it says walk.
Push red buttons.
Drown your sorrows in a slurpee.

06/23/03

Wiggling the mouse makes the internet go faster!
Although I've known pain all my life, he will never be my friend.
Prank calling the police is lots of fun!
Learn from your mistakes.
Punch things that don't work!
Blame it on someone else.

10/10/02

Never talk to strangers... unless they have candy!
If she's too good for taco bell, she's too good for you.
Question Life!
Drink beer only for the effect.
Argue with old people.
Fart when you have to.
Blame it on someone else.